Poor Dad! It seems the only way to get offspring to buy a gift for Father’s Day is to bribe them with discounts and free shipping. At least that’s what the Father’s Day marketing e-mails I received would have you believe.

I received my first Father’s Day promotional e-mail the day after Mother’s Day, from specialty e-tailer ChinaSprout. Another 151 e-mails followed, not counting two I received after Father’s Day. Of those 152 messages, 44.1% touted some sort of sale or discount, and 32.2% had a free-shipping offer. Only 30.3% offered no incentives.

In comparison, of the 129 Mother’s Day promotional e-mails I’d received, 38.6% lured recipients with discounts or sales. More striking is that just 15.5% offered free shipping. All told, 36.4% were incentive free.

Many merchants were convinced that dads wanted nothing more than barbecue equipment to make their Father’s Day complete. “New & Improved Mesh Pan for Under $30—Dad Will Love It!” declared cookware cataloger/retailer Williams-Sonoma on May 20, just eight days before sending another e-mail urging us to “Surprise Dad with a Unique Grill Tool,” a contraption that allows you to cook meatballs on the barbie. Four days later, however, Williams-Sonoma apparently realized that not all menfolk yearn to spend the day flipping burgers (and meatballs) over a fire in the blazing heat; “Perfect Gift for Dad: Vinturi Wine Aerator Under $40” read that day’s subject line.

Aware that many sons and daughters find selecting a gift for their father a challenge, a number of the e-mails referred to gift guides in their subject lines: “Shop our Father’s Day gift guide!” (Beauty Encounter), “Free Shipping! Shop our Father’s Day Greatest Gifts!” (gadgets cataloger/retailer Brookstone), “Cheat Sheet: The easy-does-it GIFTS FOR DAD” (high-end retailer Neiman Marcus); “a father’s day gift guide from jack spade” (fashion brand Kate Spade, and no, I don’t know what Kate Spade has against capital letters).

Gadgets and gifts merchant Sharper Image did a particularly effective job with this sort of e-mail. “Gifts for Every Type of Dad PLUS Free Shipping” read the subject line, and the e-mail message included three gift suggestions for each of a variety of dads: the sports-nut dad, the dad who needs to relax, the traveling dad… The message spoke to a specific need—what the hell do I buy my dad?—with a variety of specific solutions, all while showing the breadth of the brand’s product range.

Several other e-mails of note:

• “The best Dad’s Day gift? Just hanging out together. Order by 6/11” was the subject line of a Crate & Barrel e-mail received on June 7. There was something sweet, nostalgic, and noncommercial about that subject line, which made it stand out from the welter of promotion-laden messages. The main image of the message showed a young dad swinging on a hammock, a sleeping tot in his arms. The price of the hammock was placed on the bottom on the image, in unobtrusive type, in keeping with the low-key, soft-sell mood.

• Gifts cataloger UncommonGoods did not offer a single promotion in any of its Father’s Day e-mails. Maybe that’s why its creative was so good; it knew it had to do something to compete against all the discounts and shipping offers. On June 10 it sent a message with the subject line “Choose Your Own Dadventure!” The message took the form of a decision tree/quiz, with the answers leading to either more questions or a gift suggestion. A subsequent e-mail had the subject line “Make dad proud—get gifts to him on time!” The message was a reminder of UncommonGoods’ express shipping options and the additional costs, but it did not offer free upgrades. The unwritten message was that UncommonGoods’ wares are so distinctive, it doesn’t have to stoop to special offers to persuade shoppers to buy.

• Prepared-meals cataloger DineWise included a history of Father’s Day in one of its e-newsletters that near the end included a wonderfully written soft sell, complete with links to product pages: “Although most people would never expect their mother to cook dinner on Mother’s Day, fathers often get a big kick out of cooking dinner for the family on the grill. This is why a gift of steaks and possibly a fun chef’s apron or hat is such a popular Father’s Day present. After all, most Dads are happiest when they are doing what they truly love to do, and that is take care of their families.” The closing graf was lovely as well: “After years of celebrating Father’s Day, it is safe to say that there was no need back in the 1900s for people to worry about the day becoming only a commercialized event. Because, as anyone who is lucky enough to have their father still with them can tell you, what really matters most is showing him how much you really care.” Aww…

Finally, I mentioned that I received two Father’s Day e-mails on June 21, the day after Father’s Day. One was from upscale department store Barneys New York, the other from Steve’s Blinds & Wallpaper. The later was promoting a “Father’s Day weekend blowout sale” that ended at midnight on June 20, nearly nine hours after I received the message, and it was the only e-mail I received from Steve’s Blinds in conjunction with Father’s Day. Then again, I don’t know how many dads would have wanted to receive wallpaper for their special day.